My first kiss

I remember my first kiss like it was yesterday. Although my first kiss wasn't like others girls first kisses.

I guess I was about 11 years old and our next door neighbors were our best friends. There was a boy a year younger then me and a girl that was my sisters age (2 years older then me). Even our parents were friends. So we were all 8 together ALOT.

One afternoon my sister and I were over at their house on their back porch playing and somehow (I don't fully remember how) me and the girl who was my sisters age got underneath this jacket and we kissed. I remember that her lips were kinda dry, but I also remember the feeling I got deep inside of my stomach. I had such butterflies it was unreal. I remember it being my idea to kiss and she was reluctant at first, but then agreed. After we kissed we came out from under the jacket giggling then went back under it for a few more kisses. My sister was there and kept a look out.

I think it was then that I felt something was different with me.

One day me, my sister and the girl were in her bedroom playing and I was the "husband" and I was going to do the "husband" thing and lay on top of her (to act like we were making love.) I remember wanting more then anything to just kiss her again. But she resisted and I got off. I thought it would be ok since we were just "playing the part". It was then that I knew it wasn't right and we shouldn't be doing that...but I wanted to so badly...so so badly.

About a year after that my sister and I were at our grandparents house for the weekend and we had a friend down the street from us. She lived with her grandma. One day we were over at her house and she and I kissed. OH MY GOD I loved it. I wanted more more MORE! But she stopped.

Ever since then all I can think about is kissing a girl again.

Once my time here is done with nanny I am going to leave and explore and experiment with different things. Until then...I can only dream.