Here is a list of things that I want to do before I die. I will add more things as I find more things that I want to accomplish. The ones that I have accomplished I will put in BOLD. and CAPS
I suggest that everyone create a "Bucket List" because it gives you goals and makes you really focus on life and what you want out of it. I am slowly but surely accomplishing these goals on my list, and someday I will complete each and every one of them.
REVISED 7.18.10
REVISED 10.18.10
01. Get more tattoos (at least 3 more)
02. Go on a ride along in a police car
03. Have sex with a girl
04. Go to New York and see a Broadway musical
05. Get a Brazilian wax
06. Lose some weight
07. Get a place of my own
08. Try weed
09. Fall in love
10. Go to a Halloween party dressed up
11. Go to a haunted house on Halloween
12. Go to a New Years Eve party
13. Skinny dip with a girl (other than my sister)
14. Make love in the rain
15. Go to a strip club and get a private dance
16. Get my nipple pierced
17. Donate blood
18. Do a random act of kindness for a stranger
19. Learn to play the guitar
20. Go camping and live off the land
21. Take a road trip with my mate
22. Go to a psychic and get my future read
23. Take more pictures
24. Learn how to ice skate
25. MEET ERIC (10.09.10)
26. Meet Sarah
27. Spend Christmas helping others instead of getting or giving gifts
28. Make love in a relatives house
29. Go on a weekend getaway with my mate
30. Get a mate
31. Witness a solar eclipse (again)
32. Break out in dance in the middle of a store with my mate
33. Live care free for a month
34. Buy a professional camera
35. Stay in a haunted house with friends for a night
36. See a shooting star
37. Witness a baby being born
38. Watch Pretty Woman
39. Make a scene in public
40. Get frisked by a cop
41. Go to Las Vegas
42. Kiss someone under mistletoe (Not a family member)
43. Get the top part of my ear pierced
44. Learn to drive a stick shift
45. GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE
46. Find Ashley
47. Put something in a time capsule
48. Perform 5 random, anonymous acts of kindness in a single day
49. Be naked in the woods
50. Develop my own photographs
51. Invite a total stranger over for Thanksgiving dinner
52. Find out my blood type
53. WATCH THE BUCKET LIST
54. Kiss someone outside when it is snowing
55. Get my bellybutton pierced
56. HAVE SEX WITH A GUY(10.11.10)
7.28.2009
7.26.2009
Impending Death
Impending Death
Her life is not her own anymore.
She is trapped within her own body.
She can't interact or even cry anymore.
It is torturous.
When I look at her I can't see who she really is to me.
I have to turn off the emotions and just do what needs to be done.
It is too painful and sickening when I try to think of her as my grandma.
It is heartbreaking.
Each day that I live death is all around me.
There is no escaping it there is no running from it.
It's coming even if we don't want it to, it's coming and coming fast.
It is terrifying.
To watch her go through this is the most horrendous thing ever.
The only good thing about this is that she doesn't know what is going on.
But the bad part is we do know what is going on.
It is misery.
She is having trouble swallowing now, all to suddenly.
We all know where this is headed, we just didn't know how soon.
Even though I block off the emotions, I still weep for her.
It is infuriating.
Her life is not her own anymore.
She is trapped within her own body.
She can't interact or even cry anymore.
It is torturous.
When I look at her I can't see who she really is to me.
I have to turn off the emotions and just do what needs to be done.
It is too painful and sickening when I try to think of her as my grandma.
It is heartbreaking.
Each day that I live death is all around me.
There is no escaping it there is no running from it.
It's coming even if we don't want it to, it's coming and coming fast.
It is terrifying.
To watch her go through this is the most horrendous thing ever.
The only good thing about this is that she doesn't know what is going on.
But the bad part is we do know what is going on.
It is misery.
She is having trouble swallowing now, all to suddenly.
We all know where this is headed, we just didn't know how soon.
Even though I block off the emotions, I still weep for her.
It is infuriating.
7.21.2009
My Intro
Well I guess this will be my introduction. It’s so hard to just start writing about myself because I never talk about myself, or even think about myself for that matter. I always put people first and usually end up getting burned.
I am 25 years old and I am currently living at home because I am helping my family take care of my grandma who has Alzheimer’s. Living with this disease every single day for the past 9 years has been grueling, hellish, frustrating, and yet rewarding. I have grown up so much in these past 9 years that it shocks me. I have learned that life is so fucking short and you ONLY have today.
I have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I am going to be sharing through this blog. I am going to be open and honest for the first time in my life. No matter what I write, and no matter how frustrated I am in the moment one thing that will never change is that I love my family and I love helping them.
I am trying to live life to the fullest or atleast to the fullest that I can at this moment since I can't fully spread my wings. But someday I will be able to be who I want to be and do what I want to do.
My hopes for this blog is to find myself through writing. I hope to meet people who are like me and who understand me and maybe can help me figure myself out. I have some secrets and feelings that I will write about later when I feel more comfortable. And I will share more about myself in blogs to follow.
I am 25 years old and I am currently living at home because I am helping my family take care of my grandma who has Alzheimer’s. Living with this disease every single day for the past 9 years has been grueling, hellish, frustrating, and yet rewarding. I have grown up so much in these past 9 years that it shocks me. I have learned that life is so fucking short and you ONLY have today.
I have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I am going to be sharing through this blog. I am going to be open and honest for the first time in my life. No matter what I write, and no matter how frustrated I am in the moment one thing that will never change is that I love my family and I love helping them.
I am trying to live life to the fullest or atleast to the fullest that I can at this moment since I can't fully spread my wings. But someday I will be able to be who I want to be and do what I want to do.
My hopes for this blog is to find myself through writing. I hope to meet people who are like me and who understand me and maybe can help me figure myself out. I have some secrets and feelings that I will write about later when I feel more comfortable. And I will share more about myself in blogs to follow.
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